The power of identity

Is there a powerful new identity knocking at your door? One that might surprise you? Let's try this on for size.

When I was freshly out of college, I was slightly horrified at the prospect of my new life.

Go to work, come home.
Go to work, come home.
Eat dinner, watch TV, rinse, repeat.

No longer anchored by my identity and activities as a college student, I was drifting.

I knew that I needed *something* new in my life but I didn’t know what it was… And then a new roommate suggested I try karate with him. I’d never remotely considered trying martial arts before, but I thought, what the heck, let’s give it a try.

Every Monday and Wednesday night, I’d join a small group of fellow beginners, yelling and learning some moves which felt silly to do, but which would apparently thwart an attacker. (Karate CHOP!)

But I didn’t see myself *really* hitting hard or hurting anyone, even if someone were to attack me. As an empath and people pleaser, this ferocity just wasn’t part of my make up. It wasn’t part of my identity.

But I kept going to class, I kept practicing yelling and striking, and I kept making breakthroughs big and small. I was nurtured by a wonderful community in my karate club, where I felt seen and celebrated for who I was.

And then… I don’t know exactly when it happened, but it did. I decided somewhere along the line: “You know what? If someone attacks me, I’m going to go all out to defend myself. HELL YES. I deserve that and more!”

Embracing my inner bad ass

Fast forward a couple more years and I’d become a karate instructor who *relished* the destructive power of the moves I was now teaching. When a student would hit me harder than they ever had, I’d sputter a little bit and say, “YES, THAT!  Do it again!”

I was light years away from where I’d awkwardly started. A vital part of the change in me was that I’d adopted a new identity along the way. That of a kick-ass karate instructor.

This new identity existed alongside others like “nonprofit fundraiser,” “caring and fun friend” and “outdoor enthusiast.” I was still the same person, but my concept of myself had become larger and more powerful.

I think this process of trying on new identities (and also releasing old ones) repeats itself over and over in our lives. We begin to find that old identities no longer serve us and we then let them go.

And on the flipside, we can find that there are powerful new identities that are calling us. It can be game-changing to step up to the plate and say YES to them.

Coaching questions:
- Is there a powerful new identity knocking on your door?
- What do you love about it?
- What do you reject about it?
- What might you need to do to make this identity YOURS?